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Oh no

I post post-climbing around in trees (in celebration of my brother's birthday) during which time I damaged my wrist and typing now hurts. Considering about 80% of my job involves typing this is very annoying.

Writing fic, however, doesn't count.

This took forever to edit and I do apologise for that but work for the past few weeks has been killing me. As has Person of Interest.

My thanks as always to cienna for her prize-winning and speedy betas. ♥

But anyway, here, have some Dick.

Title: Half Lost, Half Found (4/5)
Rating: PG for language and violence
Words: 3,743 this part
Summary: Nightwing and Batman. H/C. Driven underground, Batman fights to keep Nightwing alive.

It’s been approximately thirteen minutes since Dick last responded and no amount of calling his name or jostling him has yet brought him around.Collapse )

Comments and concrit much loved and appreciated.

The Price of Lube

Title: Gather and Gone
Rating: PG
Words: 2,848
Summary: Grimm episode 2x15 tag. Nick and Monroe.

No permanent damage, Rosalee had said. They’re dead, she’d assured him, but it was hard to believe when the skin around his eyes crawled, inflamed bad enough to made them water.

Nick couldn’t sleep.Collapse )


Sobbing and Snuggling with Strangers

Desperately looking through a handful of old memory sticks in search of a Merlin fic I want to revive I had the very great joy of finding some truly glorious unfinished fic; some of it so bad I wanted to laugh, some of it fic I'd completely forgotten I'd ever written. A lot of few-line beginnings of fics that never got any further. I wanted to share, for posterity, some of the interesting things I found.

Those of you who remember the crispy grass incident will be unsurprised by this gem, taken from a long abandoned Toshiki/Juubei/Kazuki fic:

"his cry was silenced by Kazuki’s demanding lips. Toshiki gripped his friend’s shoulders tightly as he felt the pleasure build within him, stronger and stronger. He looked at Kazuki’s form above his, writhing slightly so that Toshiki might feel his pleasure, smiling warmly, almost wantonly. It only made the fire in his stomach worse."

Apparently at the age of 24 I was somewhat enamoured by wantonness.

I discovered a half-written Epilogue to my very first epic, written in the Tactics fandom. I must have had a really nasty school lunch because it was depressing as hell.

I also came across a side story to one of my favourite old fics, a KuroFai fic set in Ancient Egypt. It was a weird coincidence but earlier today I was watching a programme on the very Ancient Egyptian village I set the fic in and it made me want to write more of it. I am seriously considering finishing it. I've been very demoralised with writing lately. Maybe rather than something new I need something old.

That fic ended here:

"Fai pressed his face to Kurogane’s back and Kurogane could feel Fai’s smile against his skin through thin fabric, and long hands gently stroking at his stomach."

I tease myself.

Even better, I was infinitely pleased to discover that classic, the Skelehood fic (Skeletor/Robin Hood. Don't ask. It's a long story). It is entitled: It may be that I should never be allowed to write unsupervised ever again.

My very favourite line from this masterpiece cross-over crack smut: "...there was pain and the lust of my own flesh, but his manhood, in me, was like cool water."

Dead manhoods will do that to you.

I found kid-fic, Sherlock fic, Hetalia porn based on US/UK economic agreements, that glorious Dean/Cas fic based on Master & Commander, and so many unfinished fics I was actually pretty appalled with myself. Endings really are, it seems, hard. Too hard for me.

Badger Loin Cloth

For cienna's birthday, because you cannot ever go wrong with nestu fic.

Title: Handle with Care
Rating: PG
Words: 3,497
Summary: Dick Grayson, Bruce Wayne, Damian Wayne. H/C.

Damian had known something was wrong.Collapse )

Comments and conctit most loved and adored!

One Week Only Event (is a lie)

Drinking. Sick. Old men. Galavanting. Sick. My past few weeks in six words.

Title: Half Lost, Half Found (3/5)
Rating: PG for language and violence
Words: 6,868 this part
Summary: Nightwing and Batman. H/C. Driven underground, Batman fights to keep Nightwing alive.

Again, thanks to cienna for the lovely beta, and to gnine for not letting me stop.

This chapter is dedicated to miki_moo for her birthday and her lack of patience. I hate you. ♥

Cold. Wet. Shouting. Sharp pain.Collapse )

Comments and concrit are much loved and appreciated as always!

Terror of Kingston-upon-Thames

Appropriately, for Valentine's Day, let us celebrate with the fluffiest thing I have ever written.

Title: Let Us Too Yield
Rating: PG
Words: 6,576
Summary: Young Avengers (First run), Billy/Teddy. H/C. Trapped and hurt, all Billy wants is to protect Teddy. And maybe come out of this alive.

Thanks to the usual suspects, gnine for the encouragement and cienna for the beta!

“If you die,” Teddy is saying, a low growl that actually sounds a lot like the real Hulk. “If you die, I swear I will break up with you.”Collapse )
It's the magical never-ending h/c fic of doom! Now that the madness of xmas exchanges is over I can get back to editing this behemoth.

Also, why do I keep agreeing to go out drinking? It's seriously cutting into my comic reading time.

Title: Half Lost, Half Found (2/5)
Rating: PG for language and violence
Words: 5,359 this part
Summary: Nightwing and Batman. H/C. Driven underground, Batman fights to keep Nightwing alive.

Thanks this time go to cienna for betaing, and again to gnine for harassment and Way-laying.

When he was a kid, new to a world outside the circus and everything was strange and different, Dick never thought anything of spending long hours in what was essentially a cold, draughty, damp cave.Collapse )

The One With The Cumtears

Returned from my usual New Year adventures in Barcelona, and somehow before then I completed all my Christmas exchange fics. By somehow I mean without sleeping for several days over Christmas. That went well.

For Yuletide I wrote Tiger & Bunny:

Title: Embers Upon Hearth
Rating: PG
Words: 7,276
Summary: Kotetsu & Barnaby, post series.

After the last battle, Barnaby tries to find a place for himself in a world where he is no longer a hero and Kotetsu is no longer his partner.

"You'll hate it," Kotetsu announced cheerfully. "It's a draughty old house. The wiring's so bad the fuses trip all the time. There isn't an inch of chrome anywhere in the kitchen."

I had a blast co-modding the Batfam Christmas Exchange with cienna and miki_moo. Who knew so much alcohol was involved in running exchanges? I received an awesome fic, everyone was fantastic and handed in their work no problems, and I wrote a short epic:

Title: On an Uneven Keel
Rating: PG -13
Words: 15,069
Summary: Dick & Damian, H/C. Dick is undercover as a smuggler. Damian is not supposed to be there.

Ships, Damian decided, were there own special, horrible brand of torture.

And as is my yearly tradition I also wrote for the perfect_duet community Advent Calendar:

Title: The Long Years
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 1,772
Summary: Jack Aubrey/Stephen Maturin. In the long years of their retirement, Jack finds that Stephen has been keeping secrets.

Despite the long progression of years Jack liked to think he still had all his faculties intact.

This year I was lucky enough to receive two incredible fics for Yuletide which I cannot recommend enough!

This Endris Night by Pun. Jack Aubrey/Stephen Maturin. Jack goes in search of Stephen on Christmas Eve.

Family Ties by Traincat. DCU. A few times Alfred took care of Dick, and one where Dick took care of Alfred.

Finally, as a New Year gift to you all, for those who haven't seen it before, the incredible amazing issue of World's Finest where Batman and Superman cried over alien tentacle sex. Shut up. It's canon.

Had an Emotion

This new job is so special. Like all my jobs, really. I'm getting the impression it's only the crazy places that employ me. There's no time for anything but work these days really, which is sad, but this job comes with such a lot of power and responsibility it kind of makes up for it.

In other news, I'm confused about what fandom I'm in. I seem to be reading and writing and watching all over the place. I have come to the conclusion that my primary fandom at the moment must be Dick Grayson's arse.

Speaking of which, it is the time of year for cienna and I's fantabulous Xmas cards. If you'd like one, go here and take the poll and a masterpiece of MS Paint and ground-breaking design will find its way to your door! You know you want to.

p.s. I really hate Macs.

Fucking Margaret

Title: Handful of Dust
Rating: 18, warnings for non/dub con
Words: 2,380
Summary: Merlin episode 5x06. Morgana/Gwen. In the Dark Tower, Gwen learns.

I don't know what happened. I watched that episode, then I wrote this. cienna beta'd. Blame her.

It"s beautiful, the way she screams.Collapse )

Comments and concrit always welcome and appreciated.


The Monolith Mullet

Title: Half Lost, Half Found (1/5)
Rating: PG for language and violence
Words: 7,667 this part
Summary: Nightwing and Batman. H/C. Driven underground, Batman fights to keep Nightwing alive.

Thanks to gnine, without whose constant harassment this fic would never have been written. And thanks to cienna for the beta.

There is a fight. There"s always a fight.Collapse )

Not ironing

Title: Over Spring
Rating: PG
Words: 5,834
Summary: Kid Loki and Thor. Set after Journey into Mystery 641.

After, Loki hides himself away. But Thor will find his brother.

My sort-of thanks to gnine for forcing me to write this, and to cienna for her always-helpful betaing.

Loki has always been one for shadows, for not being found when he doesn"t want to beCollapse )

Comments and concrit greatly appreciated and loved.

Missing Teeth are Attractive, Coventry

I return hoping to put the past few months behind me and a new fandom that, for the first time ever, for me involves no pairings at all. Mostly, I blame xparrot for this descent into shiny new obsession.

Could I just also say that if you are not reading Journey into Mystery at the moment WHY NOT?! Look at my icon. Look at baby!Loki and his I ♥ London T-Shirt. He wears a hoodie and trolls the internet. He makes me laugh and has a hell-hound for a pet named Thori. GET TO IT.

Right. Fic.

Title: Shallow Grave
Rating: PG
Words: 5,741
Summary: Kid Loki and Thor. Set after The Mighty Thor 12 and before Exiled 01. H/C, fluffy angst etc.

A deal was made with gnine. She drew art. I wrote fic to go with it. That beautiful art can be found here.

All my love to cienna for the beta and to both her and gnine for all their encouragement.

Thor finds Loki after his return to life. He's been gone too long.

It"s not hiding, Loki tells himself, because he does not hide. That would be ridiculous. This is, in fact, a tactical retreat.Collapse )

It's been a while since I wrote something and actually finished it. I appreciate any and all comments and concrit you can offer!

Cake Fear, Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Pie

It's a quiet day at work and I don't feel like attacking my backlog so I'm just going to sit on the internet and, apparently, read the comment threads on the Guardian website. Such vile pits of human depravity and self-delusion, but I just can't seem to stop reading.

Really, I should do some fic writing, but I've once again lost all will to write. I have millions of ideas, all of the time, but never seem to get the impetus to actually put any of them down on paper. And really, I get ideas from everywhere. Like watching Barbarella and wanting to write a Dean/Cas AU of it, and wandering around the British Museum and seeing a nice shiny pot with a pretty looking angel of death fortelling some poor guy's demise and wanting to write a Dean/Cas AU of that too, and then I was just reading a comment thread about "confessing your sins to God's secret police" and somehow getting the idea for a Dean/Cas AU where angels are God's SEKRIT POLICE who come and get you if you sin. Dean couldn't last five minutes. And then looking at my desk and imagining a Dean/Cas AU where Cas is a hole-puncher and Dean is a stapler... no. I really didn't think that. But I'm sure you see a theme here. And I don't even like AUs.

Stupid Dean/Cas. Making me want to write you all the time.

Also, I loved this fic. Now I'm going back to pretending to type some things into a spreadsheet.
Appropriate title, and the theme of last Saturday's outstanding Supernatural Meet up.

It was only a matter of time.

Title: No Life in Words
Rating: PG
Words: 2,422
Summary: Grimm post 1x13. Pre-Nick/Monroe. Aunt Marie would've called it wallowing, and she'd probably have been right.

Thanks to cienna for the beta.

There"s a book in the trailer that Nick hasn"t read.Collapse )

As always, comments and concrit loved and appreciated.


Personification of the Holy Mushroom

It's sad. I feel as though LJ is dying a slow, painful death. Everyone drifted away to Tumblr and Dreamwidth and no one comments anymore. I shall persevere, though I don't know if I'll renew my paid account here when it comes up again.

In happier news, yesterday was brilliant. Apart from my Arabic lesson which was painful because everyone in my class slightly fails at everything. It's just impossible to find time to study outside of class for me. But anyway. Good things. My amazing knowledge of world wide currencies won me another half day off work, and I had a very good appraisal. I love my boss so much.

This week I also enjoyed this Dean/Cas gen fic immensely. I have missed reading them so much, so yesterday I went to bed far too late re-reading a fic I love a million fold and which was probably my favourite DCBB from last year. I always wanted the author to continue it, I loved it so much. In terms of SPN at the moment I suppose I'm sort of excited about Cas's return but I'm too dubious about it being anything I actually want to happen and that it's going to last that I am mostly just ambivalent.

Grimm though, I am very excited about. Doubly so because Sebastian Roche is going to be in it! In celebration at how amazing Grimm is, and how Nick and Monroe will certainly soon be having little Grimm!puppies together, I was inspired to create yet another masterpiece of MS Paint glory.Collapse )

Yes, okay. No more MS Paint for me. (/lies)

Puppies (A Deceptive Title)

The observant amongst you will notice that (a) I am naughtily posting this from work because I actually have no time ever anymore to do anything other than work and sleep. And occasionally eat and drink. And things. Also (b) the fic below is looooong overdue. And finally, (c) my beautiful fic Masterpost is now complete (as far as I want it to be complete) thanks to cienna's hard work and dedication to my fic. I really don't want to know how many words I've written. I think it would be embarrassing. So, there's no point in worrying about adding a few more words to the pile.

Title: Renascence
Rating: R
Words: 6,125
Summary: SPN, (Anna/)Balthazar/Castiel(/OFCs). Originally written for disterra for the spn_balthazar fic exchange last year and then somehow forgotten about and left to languish on my memory stick.

Many thanks, as ever, to cienna for the beta.

Having a human body was like nothing Balthazar had ever experienced, and like nothing he could ever have expected.Collapse )

Comments and concrit warmly welcomed and appreciated.

Semen Stories

Between working at a job that requires actual work, doing night classes in Arabic because they are free due to aforementioned job, Zumba, pilates, writing, alcohol binge drinking, tea binge drinking, watching Eternal Law and Grimm on repeat, and trying desperately to find decent fic to read I sometimes feel like I might be overdoing things a tad. And the worst thing is I know I'm missing things out. Like sleep. Yes. I think I remember what that was like. I do that on trains these days.

Don't get me wrong though, I slightly love all this. I never feel like I'm wasting time. I never ever ever get bored (except that one time). I'm taking full advantage of the fact that I have a year to make myself the perfect candidate for every job I want, and I have a job that actually teaches me things. Like Arabic. And Intellectual Property Law. And stuff.

I like most of the people in my office. I enjoy this job most of the time. I just wish I didn't feel like I'm on a countdown all the time. It makes bonding with my colleagues difficult. But I've bonded with my boss over visiting random places in London and history which is the most important thing. Sometimes I surprise myself with how friendly I can be that people actually want to talk to me. >)

In fandom things I have come to the following conclusions:

1) I love Cas.

2) I love Tom.

3) I love wings.

4) Grimm man is boring but I love it when he gets beaten up.

5) Someone should write me long, plotty, h/c-y Natsume/Tanuma fic right now.

6) It's impossible to find any good White Collar fic I haven't already read.

7) Good Sherlock fic where John doesn't sound like a reject from Mary Poppins is GOLD DUST.

8) There are not enough tentacles.

And finally, I bought tickets to Asylum 8. I shall now proceed to stab my own eyes out.

Barbara Streisand

Hello Internet.

I love you like a love song, baby.

That's right. Five minutes back in Barcelona and I start to like bad pop music again.

Driven mad by the loss of you.

So now, I devour you.

In a tasteful fashion.

Because you give me Stephen the amazing penguin.

And you gave me a Master and Commander fic of my very own.

And you give me not one but two Dean/Cas fics to adore.

But, let's be honest, I wrote over 40,000 words for various Xmas exchanges and challenges so I deserve them all.

Yes, I do.

Here's one I made earlier:

Title: What Is Left Behind
Rating: PG
Words: 5,743
Summary: Silver Diamond. Narushige Shigeka/Touji Touno, Kou, Rakan Sawa, Chigusa Senroh. H/C, survival.

Thrown into the desert, Touji and Narushige must survive alone with neither water nor direction.

Written for the 2011 Yuletide exchange for Puimoo. Many thanks to cienna for the beta, which I have finally been able to edit in! ♥

It wasn"t so bad, that first day.Collapse )

I enjoy writing these two (and Kou) more than is natural.

Comments and concrit as always appreciated.

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